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Should You Invite Your Ex to Your Wedding?

by | 6 January 2018 | Couple

An ex-partner may not be your main love focus anymore, but if you run in the same social circles or have children together, it’s likely that you have a relationship with them on some level and would be looking to invite them to your wedding. But is it weird inviting your ex to your big day?

Invite my ex to my wedding? No way!

A healthy relationship with an ex-partner is one of respect rather than resentment. If you or they haven’t drawn a line under the relationship, it’s likely that being in the same room together will only cause unnecessary havoc. And on your wedding day, you want to be completely present and focused on the person you’re marrying, not re-living previous heartbreak.

So, if the thought or sight of your ex causes crazy heart palpitations or sends you into a downward spiral of emotion then you shouldn’t invite them to your wedding, even if you’re in the same friendship group or have children together.

Jersey City, New Jersey, USA --- Couple holding torn photograph --- Image by © JGI/Jamie Grill/Blend Images/Corbis

Jersey City, New Jersey, USA — Couple holding torn photograph — Image by © JGI/Jamie Grill/Blend Images/Corbis

I’m friends with my ex – they even came to my wedding

Believe it or not, you can be friends with your ex if your motivations are genuine – ie, you don’t still harbour feelings for them or see them as a potential ‘back-up’ plan if any future relationships go wrong.

Popup Weddings co-founders Alasdair and Kerry are living proof that you can remain friends with your ex… and even invite them to your wedding.

‘For our wedding, my ex-partner was actually Alasdair’s best man, and Alasdair’s ex was (and still is) a friend of mine. So she was one of our guests’ explains Kerry. ‘Some people found this a bit odd, but we were absolutely fine with it. And the celebration ran smoothly and we all had an amazing day.’

Another reason you might invite your ex to your wedding is if you have children together or were previously married. In such circumstances, your ex would have been a fundamental part of your life at some point. And if the break-up was amicable and neither side did anything drastically wrong or hurtful, there’s no reason why you can’t be friends, leave the past behind you and have a good ol’ knees up at your wedding.

If you’re still not 100% sure on adding your ex-partner to the guest list, take a moment to think about how inviting them could affect your wedding day. And remember that your wedding is a celebration of the love you and your partner share with each other. The focus of the day is on the two of you. And the people you invite should want the very best for you and their presence should complement that warm, fuzzy feeling, not ruin it.

Have you invited your ex to your wedding? If so, how did you make the decision and what was the outcome on the big day? Share your experiences in the comments box below.

About the author

Jo Wigley

From her word-nerd studio (way) down under in New Zealand, the copywriter in Jo crafts websites, advertising campaigns, scripts, blogs and brochures for businesses across the world. While the creative consultant in her helps brands, big and small, find their voice in one heck of a noisy world.


Couple Should You Invite Your Ex to Your Wedding?