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Wedding night hanky panky

by | 6 February 2016 | Lifestyle & Relationships

Weddings are the source of much creative imagination – in one way or another, bride or groom, we all envisage our wedding day in a very specific way – we have expectations, some of which you’ll find are met, some of which are not, and some of which you’ll forget about the very second you see each other at opposite ends of the aisle. 

Of course one expectation that is (somewhat strangely) shared by everyone is that the marriage must be consummated. The couple know it’s going to happen, the best man and the bridesmaids know it’s going to happen, the groom’s parents know it’s going to happen and perhaps the most awkward of the bunch – the bride’s parents know it’s going to happen (grooms – beware the glare of death from your new father-in-law at the wedding brunch the next day). The weirdest part – all (okay, most) of these people want this to happen.

I’m not going to talk a lot about my personal experience, largely because my wife doesn’t want me to talk about it (if ever there were a damning indictment…), but I will mention it briefly. One thing we had not expected was spending 15 to 20 minutes taking hair clips out of her hair before we jumped to it. If there is a way to kill romance without flatulence, this is a likely contender.

The truth is, after a day of being done up and partying, and talking to people, and frankly stressing-the-hell-out, it’s quite easy to crash as soon as you get back to your room. So how do you keep up the romance?

Dancing and Romancing

For some people romance comes easily, for others? Not so much. Some people have to work at it. Some of us don’t rock up at our hotel after the wedding tearing the clothes off of each other’s backs. First of all that seems an awful waste of a wedding dress. Secondly – some people just don’t have that fire. That’s not a bad thing. It doesn’t mean you love each other any less – people are just different, and the way they react to one another is different. It is as they say, all about chemistry – we don’t all combust.

This having been said, not being naturally romantic doesn’t give you an excuse not to at least try on your wedding night – we’re all expecting you to do it, after all.

It’s just about making some effort – or getting someone else to make an effort in your stead. It is quite common in America for the bridesmaid and the best man to prep the honeymoon suite, or at least arrange for it to be prepped correctly ready for the lover’s arrival. This could include such touches as rose petals and champagne, or perhaps something more personal – a message or a present that would heighten the mood. BridalGuide has a few different wedding night ideas that could help with heightening the romance after the party.

Anyone that knows romance knows that it is all about the lighting and the music. The right combination of both sets the scene for a magical night – and anyone entering into such a setting on the night of the wedding surely can’t resist. Light some candles, stick on some romantic music (Pro tip – Robin Thicke’s Blurred Lines probably doesn’t count) and you’re away.

Get Drunk

I’m not talking about alcohol, although that might not hurt (it really might not do you any favours either, of course), I’m talking about getting lost in the moment. Really get wrapped up in the day and what it’s all about – each other. That was our saving grace.

There is nothing particularly romantic about pulling hair clips out of your lovers hair for the best part of half an hour. That doesn’t mean it can’t be romantic. We rolled with it. We laughed and lost ourselves in each other as we searched for lost hair clips in her bramble of hair. We were into each other, and that’s what kept us interested. You don’t have to have music and candles. Sometimes romance is just there, and it is the most down-to-earth, mundane thing you can think of. It’s all about the execution.

Once the hair clips were out, the lights went out too. Unfortunately our friends must have been sat outside by the pool because we encouraged a loud cheer. I guess sometimes you just have to roll with the encouragement – consummation is a weird tradition.

I’d usually say I’d like to hear about your experiences. On this occasion I’d like to amend that request to ask you for your advice – how romantic was your wedding night, and what tricks did you have to keep the love flowing? Try and keep it clean people!

About the author

Paul Macklin

Paul is your friendly neighbourhood poet/cynic. He believes in story-telling, curiosity and peanut-butter sandwiches and he spends the vast majority of his time writing stuff. Paul learnt how to write stuff at Portsmouth University where he earned himself a Masters degree in writing stuff. Neat huh? Paul also hates writing in third person.

1 Comment

  1. srinivas krishnaswamy

    Great article. Yes, sex is not always needed on the wedding night (cheering friends not withstanding). You could do so much on the wedding night that’s romatic and doesn’t involve sex.

Lifestyle & Relationships Wedding night hanky panky