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How to un-invite someone from your wedding

by | 2 September 2017 | Couple

You might be the most organised nearlywed couple in the world. You might’ve booked your venue and catering months in advance; sorted your photographer and attire ahead of schedule, and had your Popup Weddings website live and your wedding favours made before you’d even put together your guest list. But, no matter how much planning you do, sometimes things just come up.

Two of your guests might drop out of the wedding because of a family incident. One of your bridesmaids or groomsman might’ve recently lost their job and now can’t afford to come. Or a once-happy couple politely pull out because they break up days before the big day.

In these types of cases, you can understand the reasons behind guests not showing up. But what do you do when you actively want to un-invite someone from your wedding?

What circumstances would cause you to revoke someone’s wedding invitation?

Planning a wedding is a tense time for everyone involved, not just the happy couple. Close family members want to put in their two cents – especially if parents or grandparents are contributing to your wedding budget. Bridesmaids and groomsman have their own ideas about what suit or dress they want to wear, or how they want their hair and makeup done. Ex-partners and stepparents might cause disharmony about being in the same room together. And some guests are just busybodies who will want to share their opinions with whoever will listen.

With situations like this, most of the time they sort themselves out. People accept it when you tell them it’s your day. And they bite the bullet because they love you.

But sometimes – just sometimes – things get out of control. Maybe a guest does something that goes against your morals – like cheats on their partner, takes drugs, or is involved in a crime. Maybe a difficult family member causes so much discord, you begin to hate them. Or maybe your best friend gets jealous, deflects their own issues onto you and has a meltdown at your Hen Party à la Annie from Bridesmaids.

With situations like this, you’re probably right in thinking: ‘Ah heck no – they are NOT coming to my wedding!’ So, what do you?

Angry bride to be - uninvite guest

How to un-invite someone from your wedding

If you’re certain you want to uninvite someone from your wedding, you’ve got to do it face-to-face, or at least over the phone.

Stay calm, be as honest as you can, and don’t get bogged down with details (this will only escalate into a he-said-she-said). If you’ve already decided you don’t want this person at your wedding, you’ve gone past the stage of wanting to hear their side of the story. So keep the conversation short, general and direct.

If this involves someone you were close to, or who moves in the same circles as you – like a best friend or a family member – know that your future relationship will probably be compromised. The same goes if you’re firing someone from your bridal party. By uninviting them to your wedding, you’ll most likely hurt their feelings. And it could well be the end of your relationship for good.

But if it means your guests will be comfortable on your wedding day, and you won’t be on tenterhooks as the drinks flow, it will be worth it. And besides, if they really valued your connection, things wouldn’t have got to so out of hand.

Talking on a sofa being uninvited

Have you uninvited someone to your wedding, or were so close but changed your mind? Are you dealing with family frictions or best-friend bust-ups right now, but don’t know how to handle them? Our Popup Weddings community can help. Let us know your woe in the comments box below (ooh, rhyme time).

About the author

Jo Wigley

From her word-nerd studio (way) down under in New Zealand, the copywriter in Jo crafts websites, advertising campaigns, scripts, blogs and brochures for businesses across the world. While the creative consultant in her helps brands, big and small, find their voice in one heck of a noisy world.


Couple How to un-invite someone from your wedding