The Wedding Blues (2/2): three couples’ experiences
- The Wedding Blues (1/2): what are they and can you avoid them?
- The Wedding Blues (2/2): three couples’ experiences
A fair few months ago, we shed some light on the wedding blues; what they are and how they can affect you. We pointed out that the blues aren’t just a couple of ‘off’ days in a row. They can make you feel withdrawn, hollow… or like you’ve lost or should be doing something.
And as ‘silly’ as you might think they are, the wedding blues are an actual thing. They can affect anyone. And everyone’s experience is different. So this week, I spoke to a handful of married couples about how they felt after all the wedding stuff stops.
Davy and Kim
Kim: ‘If I’m completely honest, after the wedding I was relieved not to have a million and one things to do. Of course I was a bit low the first week back at work. But it felt just like the holiday blues. After that first week back, I felt free. I had time at the weekends to do what I wanted to do, not what I HAD to do. And I wasn’t dreaming or worrying about wedding stuff.’
Davy: ‘I’m the opposite to Kim. I think I did get the blues. In the run-up to the big day, we had Wedding Wednesdays where we’d plan stuff. Early on, I resented them because it meant I missed kickboxing. But I got into the wedding stuff quite quickly. Surprisingly! Then, when we got back from our honeymoon, I noticed that I just moped around the house after work on Wednesdays, rather than going to the gym. I was like that for about a month.’
When it came to getting out of his funk, Davy had his wife to thank: ‘Kim literally dragged me to kickboxing one Wednesday. After that, I was back into my routine. But because we both liked having a day set aside for just us, we swapped Wedding Wednesdays to Thirty-quid Thursdays. And every year for our wedding anniversary, we’re going to plan a weekend away.’
Kim: ‘This year we’re going to the Champagne region in France, for the vineyards.’
Nick and Sam
Sam: ‘I definitely got depressed after our wedding, probably because I did the majority of the planning (which I loved). I remember the day after we got back [from our honeymoon]… I just sat in my PJs, dreading going back to work the next day. And then for about three weeks I just went straight home from work and watched TV rather than going out.’
As soon as autumn came round, something clicked and Sam was back into her old routine: ‘Nick reckons it had something to do with the change in season. It sounds crazy but I honestly think it’s true. Mentally, I’ve put that summer on a pedestal as it was one of the best of my life. And that’s always hard to get over.’
But she did get over it by signing up to a pottery class (so she could make her friends mugs for Christmas). And now she’s helping her sister plan her wedding.
Kerry and Alasdair
Kerry: ‘I wouldn’t say I had wedding blues, but I was definitely a little down after. I felt the [wedding] day went by so quickly, I didn’t get time to enjoy it. And by the time we got back from our mini-moon, things went back to normal quite quickly, which was depressing!’
Like Sam, Kerry explains that the lack of organising left a big gap in both hers and Alasdair’s lives. But instead of wallowing, they decided to be productive: ‘We threw ourselves into decorating our flat and developing the business [Popup Weddings], which helped.’
And similar to Kim, Kerry likened the post-wedding feeling to holiday blues: ‘Most of the time you don’t think about the whole wedding process; from preconception and planning through to the actual event. But then one day it might hit you and you realise that’s not part of your life anymore. But you’ve got to remember that your wedding day isn’t the end of something great, it’s just the beginning. You should treat each day after as if you were getting married in the morning, to keep that spark alive.’
Wedding blues, holiday blues, feeling down in the dumps… whatever you want to call it, after your wedding, you’re bound to have some kind of emotional reaction to the planning or the anticipation of the big day not being there any longer. But it’s not the end of things. You’re married – you did it! So enjoy it. And if the lack of spreadsheets and micro managing is getting to you, throw yourself into something else.
We love hearing about your experiences. So if you’d like to share your post-wedding lows or highs, tell us in the comments below.
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