Honeymoon with kids
We’ll be honest – there’s not a huge amount of objective facts and figures for us to call on here. There’s also not really any standard etiquette either. Some people take their kids on their honeymoon, some don’t.
And no two families have the exact same relationship dynamics, so there’s no one-size-fits-all logic to it. The practical side of the decision depends entirely on your lifestyle, and we’re not going to try meddling with that. But if practical reasoning leaves you still on the fence, then it’s time to consider the emotional side – your ‘gut instinct’.
So to help you decide, we’re going to give you an impassioned, borderline-obnoxious argument for why you absolutely should not take your kids with you on your honeymoon. Then, we’ll do the same for why you should take them with you.
Whichever argument rings most true should at least help nudge you towards a decision.
So what do we mean by ‘kids’?
We mean younger than ten.
Whether or not you should take teenage offspring with you on your honeymoon is a totally different question that would make for a very unbalanced post. We can think of many, many reasons not to take an angsty, despondent, selfish, narcissistic teenager with you on a romantic holiday.
If you’re thinking “but my teenager isn’t angsty, despondent or selfish,” then we think you should start a parenting advice blog. If you already have a parenting advice blog then, well, good work. Carry on.
Why you should NOT take your kids on your honeymoon
Seriously? How can you even contemplate taking your kids on your honeymoon?
Let’s start at the very beginning. Holidays usually start with a car journey and then a flight. On a plane.
You owe it to yourself to make your honeymoon as stress-free, romantic and relaxing as possible. Driving to the airport with loud, messy, needy kids in the back of the car gets you off on the wrong foot right at the start. But in the car, at least it’s only you who stands to suffer. Once you get on the plane, you’ve got your fellow humans to think about.
And whatever your destination may be, it will fall into one of two categories:
a) a place you want to go, which your kids will hate
b) a place your kids want to go, which would mean it’s not really your honeymoon, is it?
Because the entire phrasing ‘taking your kids with you’ is a bit misleading. There is no holiday on which you can take your kids as an optional extra. You either plan the whole thing to pander to their every whim or they make your holiday miserable.
The truth is that a honeymoon with kids is not really a honeymoon at all. It’s just a family holiday that happens to take place soon after your wedding. A true honeymoon is about relaxing with the person you love, undisrupted, in a setting that suits you perfectly.
There’ll be plenty of chances for family holidays in the years to come. So take this one chance to drop the kids off with their grandparents and enjoy yourselves and unwind after your wedding.
*Also, sex. (Need we say more?)
Why you SHOULD take your kids on your honeymoon
Seriously? How can you even contemplate leaving your kids at home?
Firstly, it’s hypocritical – in getting married, you’re making a commitment to building a family together. So jetting straight off to a tropical paradise and saying “sorry kids, adults only,” would be a bit rich.
A typical honeymoon lasts at least a week. That’s quite a long time to be away from your kids. You’ll probably get to Wednesday and start missing them so much that you can’t properly enjoy yourself. You might even feel guilty for leaving them behind.
Because for most people, when you become a parent, your entire concept of happiness acquires a proxy – seeing your kids happy is the only thing that can truly make you happy. Your honeymoon will be a once (hopefully) in a lifetime event. So it seems a bit mean to shut your kids out of it.
Besides, if you have a baby, they generally travel for free. So to leave your baby at home would be like stealing away a free holiday from him or her.
Your honeymoon is the first holiday you take after you officially become a family. Kids are the essence of family, so make sure they’re along for the ride.
Did that help you decide? We hope not.
‘Cos that was all really bad advice.
It’s easy to fall into the kind of no-win logic we’ve just given you. But don’t.
Thinking in extremes or worrying that this decision makes some grand judgement of you as a parent is being unfair on yourself. You know your family and you know your kids. So don’t listen to anyone who says you absolutely must do do one or the other.
You’re not selfish or a terrible person if you leave your kids at home. And if you take them with you, they’re probably not going to be nightmare and totally ruin your holiday.
And what is a ‘honeymoon’ anyway? It’s just a holiday with a bit of ‘tradition’ baggage. You don’t need to sign up for all the tradition. You could take your kids with you and then have another holiday later on with just the two of you. Or you could go for a mini-break on your own to unwind after the wedding, and then go on a proper family holiday shortly after.
So just freestyle it. Make your decision based only on what makes you happiest. And most importantly: relax!
Did you choose to take your kids with you on your honeymoon? Do you think it was the right decision? Let us know in the comments.
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