Things You Need to Know about Eloping
Love isn’t always orthodox. You can’t schedule it, you can’t plan for it, sometimes you can’t even decide if you’re in it. That’s love. It’s complicated and it’s messy and it’s even worse when other people stick their noses into it. That’s why more and more people are throwing caution to the wind and, spontaneously or otherwise, eloping.
Now, many people might think of eloping as a bit of a dirty word. It might conjure up nights out in Vegas or teenagers running off in the middle of the night to profess their undying love to one another at a makeshift chapel. In reality eloping is just a method of bypassing all the fuss of a normal wedding, which is excellent if you prefer to remain chilled out. It’s also pretty cool if you’re a touch spontaneous and just want to follow your gut.
The problem with eloping of course is that it isn’t quite as easy as it is made out to be (although I’m sure you could have a drunken wedding somewhere in Vegas if you really wanted).
Eloping is supposed to be spontaneous, passionate and liberating, but you do actually have to do all the legal stuff still, so unless you can maintain the thrill of running off together whilst filing papers and copying important documents to legalise your on-the-spur-of-the-moment wedding, it quickly loses its romance.
But even then, once you’ve gone away, done your legal stuff, got married and returned, you then face all the bother and questions such as – “Why didn’t you invite us?” and “Are you still going to have a reception?”
There is a solution. It’s not spontaneous, it’s not crazy, but it should certainly do the trick – just tell people before you go. Sure it sort of takes away from the passionate and forbidden romance bit that you envisioned in your head, but it also means people won’t be quite so bitter with you when you return as an item.
You sort of have to expect a bad reaction. Some people will feel as though they’ve invested in you enough for you to invite them to such a large life event. Others will hopefully understand. Ultimately you’ve just got to do what is right for you.
The best thing about eloping has to be the lack of planning necessary. Sure you still have to fill out some papers and whatnot, but think about all the money and time you’re saving! You don’t have to stand around for hours debating the colour of bridesmaid’s dresses or sorting out invitations for every last person you’ve ever met. It’s just you and your partner.
Not planning often means the world is your oyster too – you can get married pretty much wherever your budget will allow. Getting married in Vegas is a lot more feasible if you don’t have to consider hundreds of guests, although if you really want to keep the costs down there’s no reason you need to leave the country at all.
Speaking as a recently married man, I have to say that when it comes right down to it, it might not even matter. It all depends on how close you are to your family. When I got married it could have just been me and my wife. We could have been the only people in the universe and I wouldn’t have known. But I have to say, after emerging from the other side of that wedding haze, it was nice to be greeted by the select few people that we asked to come with us – so if you like the idea of a relaxed wedding, but still want to share your memories with family and friends – you can always have a wedding abroad.
Running away with a loved one is a big deal, and only you can tell if it is the right thing to do. Although it is meant to be spontaneous, it is something that you should give large amounts of thought to, don’t rush into it just because you think you’ve had enough of other people. You might feel different in a few years time when you look back on your wedding day and realise that some important people weren’t there.
Tell us what you think about running away and eloping with a loved one below – is it passionate or is it pretentious?
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